▶ Your Answer :
Some people take it for granted that cars
have affected the society greater than planes have. However, contrary to this
statement, I firmly believe that airplanes have affected more highly effect on our lives nowadays.
The compelling logic behind this is that aircrafts provides a great opportunity
to broaden our perspective in life and helps revitalize the economy soundly.
For
starters, planes expand the horizon of people’s life to a considerable degree. (Because of what?) To
explain, a type of flying machine, an airliner, carries a large number of
people to almost anywhere throughout the world. This enables them to be exposed
to various foreign cultures, exotic lifestyles, and novel custom, making them experience
these things that they have never known before. Thus, it allows to take a
quantum leap in intellectual growth and accept diversity which is important in an era of
globalization. From my personal experience, a few years ago, I went on an
overseas trip to Egypt by airplane for the first time in my life. While traveling,
I was amazed thoroughly at ancient pyramids which are giant triangle-shaped graves
for kings of Egypt, and bizarre sphinxes which are enormous cat-like statures existing
in Egyptian mythology. Besides, I made several native friends and ate their
traditional foods during the travel. As a result, thanks to all the reminiscence
in the country, I could cast casted away a negative prejudice against the Middle East countries
as well as recognized their rich history and tradition.
Moreover,
aircrafts contributes to invigorating the sluggish local economy fairly. To be
more specific, many countries around the world have tens of hundreds of civil
airports and quite a few airline companies, which facilitates the transportation
on plenty of passengers as mentioned above. This leads to a boost in the tourism of
provinces in a country to a great extent, which creates tons of diverse jobs
related to the tourism industry. Therefore, the countries can make significant
profits through the aviation business. For example, Incheon, the third largest city
in Korea, is famous for a crucial traffic hub among major developed countries
in Asia, such as Japan, Singapore, and Malaysia. The metropolis has made substantial
economic development since 2005. The reason is that the Korean government built
Incheon International Airport at that time, and lots of commercial airlines
launch their own air transport businesses. This made possible it to attract
millions of visitors from all over the world to the city and generated a lot of
job openings for the services the paying customers needed, such as duty-free
shop staffs, janitors, and security guards. Consequently, Incheon is enjoying
its economic boom until today.
In
conclusion, some people argue that automobiles influence more on the society than
airplanes. Nevertheless, it is true that the latter has played a more vital
role in a huge part of our lives today. The rationale behind this is that they are
helpful to widen people’ views of life and make the economy prosperous.
채점기준표
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Grammar
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Contents
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Example
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Coherence
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점수
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4
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4
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3
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4
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Score
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Good 23-25
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첫 번째 Thesis를 이유를 들어 보다 명확히 설명해주시면 좋을 것 같아요. 어휘의 사용도 풍부하고 고급어휘나 아이디어들이 creative한 편이에요. 잘 쓰셨습니다.
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