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현우의도전13 첨삭 정말 감사해요!

현우 | 조회 112 | 추천 0
  • 2017.01.11
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■ Direction You have 20 minutes to plan and write your response. You response will be judge on the basis of The quality of writing and on how well your response presents the points in the lecture and the relationship to the reading passage. Typically, an effective response will be 150 to 225 words.
■ Question Summarize the points made in the lecture you just heard, explaining how they cast doubt on the points made in the reading


▶ Topic :


The fewer possessions you have, the happier you will be.


▶ Your Answer :


Evidently, possessions people have play a significant role in their life where they work and play. There might be some people who believe that when people have fewer possessions they have, they can feel happier, while others do not think this way. If I had to choose one, I would say that when people have as many possessions as they can, they will be happier. There are several reasons as follows.

 

To begin with, a large sum of money can contribute to an increase in their overall happiness. Money is necessary to get what they want, including necessities of life and luxury items. Purchasing what they need can help them to deal with a lot of strain and pressure. Let me bring up my personal example to describe this point. When my sister was in high school, she often felt depressed thinking that her life became an exhausting routine. To survive in a competitive world, she spent the whole day studying all academic subjects. Naturally, she got a lot of stress and strain. Fortunately, she was able to let off some steams by going to shopping and dressing in the height of fashion. By doing this, She was able to improve her appearance and thus feel confident. Many people around her respected her, allowing her to be optimistic, strong and accordingly happy. Otherwise, she could have involved herself in dangerous activities, such as fights. She realized that having a lot of money is a key factor of a enjoyable life.

 

When people have a huge amount of money, this can increase their physical health. Great medical technology is equipped with many functions that help people to effectively relieve their pain, but the medical skill is very expensive. What this means is that when people can not spend a large sum of money treating themselves through the medical skill, they would suffer serious aliments. Detering them from treating themselves prevents them from feeling happy. For instance, when I was a middle school student, I suffered from respiratory illnesses. This is because I breathed in dust and air pollutants emitted by cars, while walking along the street every day. However, it was difficult for me to go to hospitals because I did not have money. For this reason, I had to get over my problem by spending three hours a day exercising at a park. It was really stressful, because I had difficulty exercising at the park during the winter. Since then ever, I have firmly believed that money is the key to be healthy, strong and thus happy.


All things considered, I strongly assert that the fewer possessions people have, the less content they will be. All in all, money cannot be overestimated in the pursuit of happiness.


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