▶ Your Answer :
Some people think that it is better to spend time a large number of friends than a small group. They may think a large number of friends give them many advantages. However, in my opinion, spending with a small number of friends is better. This is because they can share and exchange their perspectives and ideas more deeply and many friends can make people to be hard to select a specific choice easily. (Make it specific) To begin with, using time with one or two friends is more beneficial. (In what way?) Usually, conversations can be more deep in a small group because people can talk to each other for a long time. By having conversations deeply, they can learn helpful share different ideas. Let me take my experience as an example. when I was in high school, I had a big problems. Since it was a very sensitive problem for me, I could not talk to anyone about my problem. At that time, I had a best friend and I had a chance to spend much time with him for a whole day. Having conversation with him deeply, I could tell him about my problem naturally and he gave me a helpful advice with his experience. Thanks to his advice, I could overcome my problem. It showed that spending time with close friends helps people to get helpful ideas. On top of that, people cannot decide to a opinion easily in a large group. That is, since there are a lot of opinions in the group, people usually feel hard to decide specific opinion easily. Many ideas even make people not to follow their own decisions. Let me take my another experience as an example. When I was in college, I joined a English study group and there were 8 people in there. One day, we decided to go shopping to relieve stress. However, a problem prevented us from going shopping. The the problem was that we could not decide a specific place to go shopping. Eventually, we could not go shopping anywhere and it made us more stressful. (Describe more in detail) This story proves that people cannot easily get a specific choice in a large group.
To sum up, I believe that it is better to spend time with a small number of friends. This is due to the fact that they can get helpful ideas by close friends and they cannot pick up a specific choice easily.
채점기준표 | Grammar | Contents | Example | Coherence | 점수 | 3 | 3 | 2 | 2 | Score | Fair 17-19 | 첫 번째 이유는 beneficial 하다는 주장만 있을 뿐 어떤 측면이라는 말이 언급되어 있지 않습니다. 두 번째는 예시에서 보다 detail하게 설명해주셔야 할 것 같아요. 설득력이 다소 부족합니다.
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